The lie most women believe

Like most women, Christian women are bombarded with cultural euphemisms, well-meaning quotes and worldly motivation that is supposed to guide us in the right direction. Every which we way we look, from magazine covers, to blogs, TV and radio, we are told what the world expects of us. We’re given powerful suggestions on how we should dress, act, work; how much money we should make and how happy, frustrated or stressed we’re supposed to be while trying to do all of the aforementioned. Whew, it’s exhausting just thinking about it. Every time I see another ‘self-help’ infomercial, a celebrity selling age-defying skin cream or hormone replacement ads guaranteed to make your flashes cool rather than hot, I just want to shout “Liar, liar pants on fire”. But hey, I am a little more mature than that. I stick out my tongue, roll my eyes and use the mute button, change the channel or go read a book instead. However, just because we have the option to shut the TV off, click out of a blog or throw a magazine away, doesn’t mean we won’t be scathed or effected by the lies thrown at us every single day in our modern worldly culture.

So, in an effort to keep the seeds of lies from taking root, I’d like to share some things I’ve learned thru the years. Lies tend to belittle, diminish and crush the self-worth, identity and spirit of many women. Even though, as Christians, we know our identity should be sought IN Christ rather than thru the world, when we live in a world tailored to telling us everything opposite of what the Bible tells us, we have to regularly train our brains to combat the lies that cause us to fear, doubt and eventually fall…

One of the biggest lies I see women battle with every single day is: “God will not give you more than you can handle.” First and foremost, this is not a passage from the Bible. Nowhere in The Word does it state this. What the Bible does say is, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

God doesn’t tell us we won’t be tempted; we won’t be stressed; we won’t feel like we’re about ready to go under. He doesn’t tell us He won’t give us difficult challenges or that the world won’t try to overtake us. I see women every week trying to figure out just how they can handle all the stress, the pain, financial problems, marriage issues, addiction, fears about the future and daily gossip in their average everyday lives. Add to that a life and death issue, an accident, or a diagnosis and WHAM, they start to sink and cannot fathom what they’ve done wrong and why in the world God is allowing them to be punished. They question God and themselves. “What did I do wrong? What didn’t I do right? Why am I not strong enough, good enough, smart enough…to be able to handle all that’s being thrown my way?”

Many women blame themselves every day for things that are not their own fault – adding to the already amped up poor image they have of themselves for not measuring up to what the latest, greatest trend or magazine says they should be. I’m not talking about avoiding personal responsibility and consequences for our own poor choices in life. I’m talking about this lie that adds to a woman’s feeling of inadequacy, spurning on feelings of being unfit, unhealthy, not spiritual enough…all because they feel as if they cannot handle one more thing in life.

“What’s wrong with me? I thought God wouldn’t give me more than I can handle? But I cannot handle this! God must not love me as much. Or maybe I’m not good enough…” These are the thoughts inside the hearts and minds of many women who are receiving well-meaning, but false, motivation in the name of God. Toss the lies out ladies. Out with the lie that says “God will never give you more than you can handle.” And IN with the truth: “God will never give you more than He can handle!” 1 Corinthians 10:13 tells us that God IS faithful and he will provide a way so that you can endure it…whatever IT is! When we believe a lie that tells us we have to handle everything on our own, with the unspoken caveat that, if we don’t, then we must have something wrong with us, then we have embraced something that puts distance between ourselves and God. We’re supposed to lean on God. “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

There are many lies being thrown at women that can take root, causing destruction in our faith and walk with God. But not only in us, also in the hearts and minds of the young girls and younger ladies watching everything we do. As Christian women, we must step back, look at how we handle life’s everyday stress and the big challenges that come along. Ask yourself, am I pushing God out? Am I attempting to handle it all on my own? Or am I going to embrace the truth that I’m not actually supposed to handle it all myself? As women in Christ, let us work harder each day to look in the mirror and see the truth. We are human, fallible, and sometimes weaker than we want to be but look yourself in the eye and with boldness and confidence, tell yourself that God IS the strength of your heart. Seek God’s guidance and be determined to show through your actions that you know without a doubt that God is with you. And speak the truth, “God will not give you more than He can handle.”

~ Karen

Karen is a Professional Speaker, Christian Life Coach and published author. She is a former Children’s and Youth Pastor and an avid lover of colorful, crazy socks. Karen is a wife and mom who resides in Kentucky. She is blessed to travel frequently to fulfill her passion of reaching women thru humor, inspiration and Biblical messages. Karen is also a member of the American Assoc. of Christian Counselors, a Chaplain and free-lance Editor.
For info on getting guidance and support thru Christian Life Coaching, go to Life Coach Inspired OR email Karen at lifecoachinspired@yahoo.com

Move beyond the walls of fear

Have you ever lived with a wall of fear around you? A thick fog of fear that you cannot seem to see beyond? It’s as if you’re stuck there. You know you should be knocking that wall down but you don’t have the strength to do it, so you stay within those walls. The walls can even be strangely comforting. You feel secure because they are familiar, habitual; consistent. Knowing that you have these walls of fear is one thing but the idea of not knowing how to exist without them is a whole different kind of frightening thought altogether and so you do not dare break them down to see if you can indeed live without them around you. You do not dare rid your life of them or of the very thing, person, feeling, events, relationships that helped to build them in the first place.

The resistance to break the walls down inherently comes from the sense of comfort in the middle of pain; a kind of comfort that only someone in the same position would understand. To others, that comfort looks disastrous, ridiculous, and even insane…for they see the dangers lurking. They see the future you might likely face if you stay where you are. But you cannot see beyond today or tomorrow. You have become comfortable in your pain – in your fears – because at least you know what to expect then. You know, at least at a reasonable rate, how to successfully deal with the wall of fear on a daily basis. It’s your wall. You know every crack, every graffiti mark…every place where the wall has threatened to topple. So you let it stay.

But what happens when the walls close in on you – moving ever closer – smothering who you are? Stunting your growth and keeping you from becoming who you know you can become? Then what do you do? Lay in wait until the walls come so close that all God’s light is blocked out completely? Becoming a dark, dreary, sorrowful shell of who you should be? Perhaps you are already a mere shadow of the person God meant for you to be by now. Perhaps the very dangers others see lurking are the ones you live with on a daily basis and these dangers seem too daunting to tackle on your own and so you stay where you are – comfortable, though not comforted; secure in the habit, though not safe from the dangers...feeling unable to break free.

For many of us, that is our exact scenario. Perhaps the reasons for the walls vary amongst a thousand different stories, but the walls are the same. The story is familiar. The ending all too familiar for many. Will it be your ending as well? Or will you reach up through the last bit of existing light and grasp hold of God’s hand – allowing Him to pull you through? Will you see beyond the walls to grab a life-saving hand of a friend and allow Him to help you break the walls down?

You have to make the first move. The walls are impenetrable from the outside except by God. You must be the one who reaches up to accept the help. You must be the one that looks forward to the future - who sees beyond the walls to the outstretched hands of friends and loved ones…and you are the only one who can say Yes to life and No to fear!

You are the only who can lean on the Lord’s promises that He will never leave you nor forsake you. You must be the one who decides that growing into the person God is calling you to be is more important than hanging on to your fear and to what you wish 'could have been' inside those walls. Letting go of what might have been to see what truly is – that is part of the challenge. You can do that – with prayer and God’s help – you can see the truth of the fearful walls you are living within. You can move into the TODAY He calls you to live and thrive in! Saying Yes is the very first step. You can do it…God will reach for you but you must take hold of Him and never, ever let go.

For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41 1:13

~ Karen

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www.womaninspired.com